Campaign Buzz

by elisobservations

Last night I met a man from Bain. 

Who said he wasn’t there.

Today I saw him there again — 

He’s getting to be quite a pain!

So, limericks aren’t my strong suit. But I’m getting really tired of serious discussions of the Invisible Man (Romney) and whether he did or did not personally throw widows and orphans out into the snow. (Bear in mind that corporations are people too!)

I’m much more interested in what he claims would qualify him to be president. We scraped together a rough compilation of bits and pieces of what Wilbur seems to be saying. (You’re allowed to skip over the sound effects.) Here’s a sample:

Squawk — bist — zak — please stand by — squawk — having technical — spfft — bsst — Obamacare — bzz — more tax cuts — squawkspt — job creators — bzz — red tape — know how to create jobs — zzz — big govern — bzz — cut Planned Parent — splat — sst — self-deport illegals — zzt — tax cuts — pst — red tape and burdensome regulations — mfft — tax cuts — ack — Rombamacare — fft –I’ve made a lot of money — buzz –– stay in Iraq — crackle — off-shoring — awk — deaf, dumb and blind trust — bzzz — Obama’s failed policy — bzzz — really like firing people — pfft — pop — Deerfield Academy — squawk — sft — Muffy, Dickie and Bunny — Swiss bank accounts — bzz — Robamamamacare — zzz — we will block all action — ffft — job-killing taxes — cluck clack — Cheney fundraiser — tax returns — stay in Afghan — zz — pow — more tax cuts — repeal Roe Versus — zack — no more of my tax returns — zz — ownership society — ssstincrease defense funding — cut deficit — zzzt –Cayman Islands — bft bft — God Bless America — fap — ssst — please forgive the inter — splat —

I think that clears things up pretty well. Mitt Romney is an ex-Governor, ex-corporate take-over artist, ex-missionary, ex-moderate, and he runs for office a lot. Oh, and he wants us to know he’s definitely not Obama!

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