Well, at last it’s Super Tuesday – or as many of us call it, “Stupid Tuesday,” when an over-estimated, under-informed, over-enraged group of people who represent a sliver of the electorate go to the polls to find out what an absolute hash they’ve made of the Republican Presidential Primary.
At a time when we’re faced with huge economic problems, a broken educational system, and an incendiary Middle East, these voters are not interested in how the candidates would handle these problems, but who is the best at lying and groveling.
Thus, we have Arch-Bishop Santorum telling people he is the Uber-Christian who can tell his fellow citizens what’s permissible (religion in our public schools) and what isn’t and why birth control and abortion are not permissible. He is also against universal healthcare. But he has an advantage over the others in that he actually seems dumb enough to believe much of the junk he spouts.
If you don’t like dumb, there’s Newton Gingrich. We know he’s smart because he tells us so. Repeatedly. Did you know he was also a historian? And an expert on marriage? Three so far? So what’s Newty’s problem? Well, people don’t like him. And though Callista has coached him on smiling, Newt’s every public word drips with dislike and contempt. Miss Congeniality he’s not.
So who’s left? The Groveler. Mitt Romney can grovel forwards, backwards and sideways and deny he’e been moving. Mitt Romney will win by a three-month crawl. See? I told you it would be the guy with the best hair! Now, as to what’s under it …