Brain Storming

by elisobservations

Worried about the GOP’s lack of focus, right-wing billionaires (including the Crock sisters) recently staged a secret ‘debate’ to sharpen their candidates’ ideas.  They were all urged to show some PASSION!  But they quickly ran into trouble when the ‘Herminator’ announced Cain’s new zero-zero-zero tax plan!

Romney (quickly): “I’ve ALWAYS been for zero taxes-”

Gingrich (sneering) “Historically, that’s stupid!”

Romney: “- Zero WITH modifications, I mean-”

Bachman:  “When I’M president-”

Perry (giggles): “When cows fly, Bachy girl!”

Bachman:  “Let me finish!  When I’m president, I’ll give everybody a yearly tax refund equal to their income-”

Gingrich:  “Also stupid!   Historically, hyper-inflation in 1928 in Weimar Germany-”

Perry:  “Germany??  Nobody told me there’d by any foreign stuff!”  (Shuffles his cards)  “Weimar- is that a dog?”

Cain:  “When I’M president, ZERO money to foreign countries-”

Romney (quickly):  “Except Israel!  When I’M president-”

Bachman:  ” You’ve never even BEEN to Israel!  When I’M-”

Huntsman:  “I was Ambassador to China, and-”

Cain:  “Who cares about China?  When I’M-”

Romney:  “I’ve been to Israel TEN times-”

Bachman:  “I LOVE Israel!  I’d DIE for the HolyLand!  I’ll make Israel our fifty-first state”.

Perry (puzzled):  “I thought Israel was in Florida-”

Cain:  “Fifty-first state?  Let’s make it the fiftieth!  Kick Massachusetts OUT!”

Romney:  “I never really LIKED Massachusetts-”

Santorum:  “When Rick Santorum is president-”

Romney:  “I’ve been to Israel TWENTY times if you count RETURN trips–I’m sort of Israel-ISH–”

Gingrich:  “Historically, the whole area of Mesopotamia-”

Santorum:  “Wait a minute!  How can a U.S. state be in a foreign country?”

Perry:  “Who let this Ricky Santamaria guy in?”

Cain:  “Must’ve jumped over the fence!”  (snickers)”JUST joking,  Santa Baby-”

Bachman:  “I plan to build an electric fence all around Israel-”

Romney:  “I’ve ALWAYS been for fences–”

Gingrich:  “Stupid!  Stupid!  Borders are an outmoded historic paradigm-”

Romney:  “I’m really sort of Judeo-Mormon—”

Gingrich (stands up):  “You’re all just conceptual morons!”

Cain:  “How’d you like a punch in the nose, Tiffany-man?”

All speaking at once:  “Oh yeah?…Yeah!!…Shutup!…Says who?….Is it lunch yet?….”