If you’ve been around the U.S. Capitol lately you may have noticed many individuals wandering around with a glassy-eyed stare, muttering incoherently. These are not schizophrenics. They are victims of a strange disease called Republican Amnesia. Its victims are unable to remember anything that happened before Barack Obama’s inauguration!
Upon discovering a Federal Deficit of over three hundred billion dollars, Senator McConnell’s pudgy pink face had drained of color. The staunch conservative swore staunchly that his last clear memory was of a surplus in 1999!
When reminded that the unfunded Iraq war had cost many of those billions, his little glasses fogged up in confusion Why had Clinton invaded Iraq? Prodded about someone named George W. Bush, Mitch looked blank.
It had taken a strong dose of Doctor Karl Rove’s Talking Points Tonic to get the plucky little Kentuckian staunchly back on track.
Phrases like the Democrats are playing “The Blame Game,” “Monday Morning Quarterbacking,” and “Twenty Twenty Hindsight” were spoon-fed to all the disoriented Republican congressmen ’til they could repeat them like staunch little parrots on amphetamines.
Each amnesia victim was also given a baton reading”Staunch Conservative!” Stubborn cases of the amnesia were given booster shots of “Job-Killing Deficit” and “Job-Killing Regulations.” Soon, staunchly GOP congressmen were full of vim and vitriol.
Pep rallies took place outside the Capitol with thought-provoking themes like Kill the Bill. The Bill in question was President Obama’s 2010 Health Care Bill.
If they were still blank on recent history, the GOP were clear on memories of Medicare. They’d been against it. Social Security? They’d been against it! This time would be different. They’d kill it in the cradle. Once again it would be “Morning in America” and the years from 2001 to 2008 — well, that never happened.
Query: What’s the first thing you thought of when that mob started chanting “Kill the Bill?” I pictured a tall actress with a samurai sword… Sigourney Weaver? Lara Croft?