Fair and Balanced
You’ve never watched FNC (the FAUX NEWS CHANNEL)? Wow! Well, here’s the kind of thing you might see: an interview with Senator Mush McGoogle.
He’s a puffy-faced man in his sixties, with a smug look. He has a Southern accent.
Interviewer (smirking): “Senator, President Obama’s poll numbers are tanking! Will it be just one term for this do-nothing President?”
Senator (Pleased): “From day one of his administration, we promised that our number one priority was to make sure he accomplished NOTHING! He could ask over and over for tax increases on our Job Creators or wasteful economic stimulus schemes. Our answer was no. Relief for people losing their homes? No. Increases in the intrusive, bloated, swollen, anti-business, budget-busting Federal Bureaucracy??”
Interviewer: “I’m guessing no?”
Interviewer: “You even stopped paying salaries for the Federal Aviation Administration-”
Senator: “Just for a few weeks.” (Smirks) “I didn’t notice any planes fallin’ out of the sky, did you?”
Interviewer: (Grinning) “No, Sir! Now, a few vocal critics on the EXTREME left claim Republicans have offered NOTHING to solve our nation’s healthcare problems. Your response?”
Senator: (Chuckling) “Well, what’s wrong with nothing? That feller Jerry Seinfeld did a whole TV series he said was about NOTHIN! Big Hit!”
Interviewer: (Apologetically): “Yessir. Though– some polls seem to say a majority of Americans want some kind of health plan?”
Senator: “….Polls come and polls go.” (Waves his hand) “Yadda yadda yadda!”
Interviewer: (Surprised): “–Uh, Yadda?” (Senator nods) “I’m surprised you’re such a Seinfeld fan.”
Senator: (Shakes head): “Never saw it. Some kid in our office must of put it in my Talking Points. Personally, I like real American humor. I watch Gomer Pyle EVERY week. Never fail!”
Interviewer: “Uh, —Senator? I don’t think that show is on any more–?”
Senator: (Shrugs): “….Whatever!”
Interviewer: “THANK you, Senator McGoogle! NEXT, did Obama really give the order to kill Bin Laden? We’ll look behind the White House campaign spin right after this—”
NOTE: Any resemblance between Mush McGoogle and any living US Senator is purely accidental. But tell us if he reminds you of any US Senator living or (brain) dead? Speak up, folks. It’s your Senate!