Taking the Pledge
Note: Republican candidates seem to love signing pledges, like “No New Taxes,” even when presented by a fuzzy blue Muppet. (Grover What’s-his-name?) “Get Real, America” is a new group planning to circulate its “Return To The Real America!” pledge. We were able to get an advance copy of its twelve-point pledge for any candidates seeking our endorsement.
1. Abolish the Federal Minimum Wage.
2. Turn Medicare over to the insurance industry.
3. Get all Americans to invest their retirment funds in the stock market.
4. Make possession of automatic weapons compulsory.
5. Get Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, and Michelle Bachman in the Supreme Court.
6. Repeal Roe vs. Wade.
7. Pursue “Energy Independence” by building lots of nuclear reactors and “Drill, baby, drill!”
8. Invade any country that has oil.
9. Abolish all taxes on income, capital gains, and inheritance.
10. Establish a “Fair Tax:” A national 20% sales tax.
11. Turn education over to the states. Better yet, to counties!
12. Designate a “National Sport:” Feral pig hunting. From helicopters!
We invite you to suggest your own pledge items for the current batch of candidates and for members of Congress. Come on, surely you’re smarter than the average Muppet! (Sorry, Grover!) Please leave your comments below.