Outrageous Lies About the News Media
1. Wolf Blitzer is a holograph.
2. Ann Coulter was an early unsuccessful Weight Watchers spokesperson.
3. CNN’s Anderson Cooper isn’t always ‘on location.’ He’s a homeless person.
4. Chris Matthews just missed an Emmy for his hour-length interview of himself.
5. The Faux News Channel uses whiteout to create a space between Sean Hannity’s scalp and his eyebrows.
6. Rupert Murdoch has bought The Congressional Record, says he “plans to spice it up a little.”
7. Bill O’Reilly is licensing his name to a chain of charm schools.
8. The Faux News Channel has integrated its on-camera female crew by hiring a brown-haired bimbo.
9.Columnist George Will suffers from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. (See his photo.)
10. PBS Newshour is replacing Jim Lehrer with a mime.