Outrageous Lies About the News Media

by elisobservations

1. Wolf Blitzer is a holograph.

2. Ann Coulter was an early unsuccessful Weight Watchers spokesperson.

3. CNN’s Anderson Cooper isn’t always ‘on location.’ He’s a homeless person.

4. Chris Matthews just missed an Emmy for his hour-length interview of himself.

5. The Faux News Channel uses whiteout to create a space between Sean Hannity’s scalp and his eyebrows.

6. Rupert Murdoch has bought The Congressional Record, says he “plans to spice it up a little.”

7. Bill O’Reilly is licensing his name to a chain of charm schools.

8. The Faux News Channel has integrated its on-camera female crew by hiring a brown-haired bimbo.

9.Columnist George Will suffers from Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  (See his photo.)

10. PBS Newshour is replacing Jim Lehrer with a mime.